We never make our best decisions from a place of fear.   The amygdala, that little guy in the middle of our brain kicks in – and we can just forget about it after that!  Our left brain might as well have hopped a jet to Katmandu, for al thel impact it will have.   When our fear is triggered, we automatically shoot into basic survival, fight-or-flight mode.  Relationship stress – the terribly painful conflicts with which we struggle – activates the amygdala as sure as the saber toothed tiger coming across the path of our uber-ancient forebears.  Marital therapist Brent Atkinson in his excellent Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy speaks about as well as any of the intensity with which we are swept up in the reactive and painful fear that infects both people in the throes of intimate conflict.  While it is usually easier for us to say we are angry rather than fearful, it may not matter how you characterize these intense emotions.  Either way, the right brain and amygdala dominate our mental process, our left brain shuts down and our ability to manage conflict is reduced to zero.