Those of us who have suffered with depression isolate. We cannot bear contact with others. It’s as if our brains are exquisitely sensitive to touch. Nobody can understand the depth and the utter truth of our dark, endless despair. When we are in an intimate relationship the complications can magnify. We can’t really isolate. In the depth of a depressive episode, we maintain such a focus on our horrible inner pain that the very notion that we have an impact on another is hard to fathom – well, we easily see ourselves as a burden on others – but we don’t understand the depression as something other than ourselves. Depression is an illness that challenges the relationship. It is not the depressed person who challenges the relationship. A good web article on this subject may be found here: Depression and intimate relationships My wish for all depression sufferers who struggle in your marriages is that you embrace the reality that this darkness is not you and that with treatment you can come to know that the pain is not permanent – it can pass and you can recover a life that allows kindness, peace and joy to touch your heart. Having a loving partner who will join with you is among your greatest gifts.