{"id":825,"date":"2013-04-30T12:00:25","date_gmt":"2013-04-30T19:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/?p=825"},"modified":"2013-04-30T12:05:01","modified_gmt":"2013-04-30T19:05:01","slug":"divorce-and-negative-thinking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/2013\/04\/divorce-and-negative-thinking\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce and Negative Thinking"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/2013\/04\/divorce-and-negative-thinking\/depression\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-828\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-828\" title=\"depression\" src=\"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/depression.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"168\" height=\"133\" \/><\/a>&#8220;Criminal lawyers see the worst people at their best; divorce lawyers see the best people at their worst.&#8221;\u00a0 (<em>Attributed to Thomas Concannon, Jr., Former Mayor of Newton, N.J. and Family Lawyer)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Many of us struggle with habitual negative thinking.\u00a0 This was understood many years ago and gave rise to one of the most powerful, effective approaches to psychotherapy and counseling, <em>Cognitive Behavioral Therapy<\/em> or CBT.\u00a0 It is a favored psychotherapeutic approach for depression, in tandem with appropriate medication.\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy\/dp\/0380810336\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1363977637&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=david+burns\">David Burns&#8217; books <\/a>are excellent starting points for anyone struggling with depression.<\/p>\n<p>While going through some old papers recently, I came across a page entitled <em>Irrational Thoughts<\/em> and it contains six mistakes we make in our thinking that will <em>always <\/em>bring us down.\u00a0 If we understand these thoughts as not <em>truth<\/em> but simply as examples of negative thinking, we can spare ourselves a good deal of avoidable pain.\u00a0 We are engaged in mistaken negative thinking when we:<\/p>\n<p>1.\u00a0 Turn wants or preferences (including strong ones) into absolute vital needs.<\/p>\n<p>2.\u00a0 Convince ourselves that if the need isn&#8217;t met, it will be awful, terrible, catastrophic, unbearable, and the end of the world.<\/p>\n<p>3. Draw incorrect conclusions.<\/p>\n<p>4.\u00a0 Not consider the evidence.<\/p>\n<p>5.\u00a0 Automatically attribute negative motives to other people.<\/p>\n<p>6.\u00a0 Focus exclusively on self-deprecating thoughts.<\/p>\n<p>When we are depressed, we truly and honestly <em>believe<\/em> the truth of many of our fears and negative thoughts.\u00a0 When we emerge from our dark place, these certainties do not seem all that certain any longer.\u00a0 Such is the power of unreined negative thought.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Criminal lawyers see the worst people at their best; divorce lawyers see the best people at their worst.&#8221;\u00a0 (Attributed to Thomas Concannon, Jr., Former Mayor of Newton, N.J. and Family Lawyer) Many of us struggle with habitual negative thinking.\u00a0 This was understood many years ago and gave rise to one of the most powerful, effective <a href=\"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/2013\/04\/divorce-and-negative-thinking\/\">Continue reading &#8594;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[42],"tags":[13,23],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/825"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=825"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/825\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":826,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/825\/revisions\/826"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=825"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=825"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=825"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}