{"id":719,"date":"2013-07-22T08:42:12","date_gmt":"2013-07-22T15:42:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/?p=719"},"modified":"2013-07-22T08:44:28","modified_gmt":"2013-07-22T15:44:28","slug":"adult-attachment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/2013\/07\/adult-attachment\/","title":{"rendered":"Adult Attachment"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>How comfortable are we being close in our intimate relationships?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Do our internal alarm bells go off frequently as we feel our partner pulling away from us?\u00a0\u00a0Or is it the opposite – we begin to sweat when they\u00a0seek to be too close.\u00a0 Do our partners describe us as “clingy” or “aloof?”<\/p>\n

Many of us struggle to one degree or another\u00a0with connections.\u00a0 We often\u00a0repeat the same dramas and frustrations in our relationships, if we allow ourselves to get close enough to risk the pain or aggravation to begin with – a risk that we willingly take for the love, comfort and companionship we gain.\u00a0 As with so much in life, there is nothing inherently wrong with our tendencies in one direction or another.\u00a0 The trouble, and pain, often arise when, as we so often will, find ourselves bonding with someone who has a contrasting style.\u00a0\u00a0Our need for space will\u00a0feel to our partner like heartlessness and even contempt.\u00a0 (It’s hard to feel contempt from our partner and not freak out.)\u00a0 On the other side,\u00a0our need for assurance\u00a0will feel to our partner as clinginess. (It’s hard to feel that intensity and not close up and withdraw.)\u00a0 However, as is usually the case one person is not contemptuous and the other isn’t clingy.\u00a0 It’s the terribly painful cycle that gets triggered.\u00a0 There is an interesting test available on the web here:\u00a0\u00a0 Adult Attachment Style<\/a>\u00a0which can give you and your partner some insight into your tendencies and where the gaps may be which you can fill in with understanding and compassion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How comfortable are we being close in our intimate relationships?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Do our internal alarm bells go off frequently as we feel our partner pulling away from us?\u00a0\u00a0Or is it the opposite – we begin to sweat when they\u00a0seek to be too close.\u00a0 Do our partners describe us as “clingy” or “aloof?” Many of us struggle to Continue reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6,5],"tags":[34,25],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/719"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=719"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/719\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":954,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/719\/revisions\/954"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=719"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=719"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=719"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}