{"id":362,"date":"2010-12-07T13:31:32","date_gmt":"2010-12-07T20:31:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/?p=362"},"modified":"2011-07-17T10:17:29","modified_gmt":"2011-07-17T17:17:29","slug":"couples-therapy-what-to-look-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/2010\/12\/couples-therapy-what-to-look-for\/","title":{"rendered":"Couples Therapy – What to Look For"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>John Gottman has observed that, on average, couples come in for counseling after they have been experiencing serious<\/em> problems in their relationship for 6 years.\u00a0 That means that when you sit in that client\u2019s chair for the first time, you probably will be feeling angry, hurt and hopeless.\u00a0 You will probably feel blamed by your partner.\u00a0 You may be trying desperately to save your relationship \u2013 or you may be almost out the door and have agreed to give this one more shot.\u00a0 You might have had a horrible fight recently that leaves both partners exhausted and wounded.\u00a0 So now I\u2019m going to share a prejudice of mine: People who seek the help of a therapist for couples work should see someone who is specifically trained to work with couples<\/em>.\u00a0 A therapist who is really good<\/em> at working with individuals, may not be so helpful with couples.\u00a0 Teaching communication skills can be very useful, for sure, but every couple brings with them a rich and complex dynamic.\u00a0 It is this dynamic (or system\u2026.or cycle) that a therapist needs to understand and touch.\u00a0 When we are stressed in our relationship we already<\/em> feel alone and isolated.\u00a0 Working with couples from an individual perspective only strengthens this sense of isolation, I think.\u00a0 There are a number of wonderful ways to think about, and work with, couples in distress.\u00a0 Many like Susan Johnson\u2019s Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.\u00a0 Others develop an expertise in John Gottman\u2019s approach.\u00a0 Still others use Brent Atkinson\u2019s Emotionally Intelligent Couples Therapy <\/a>approach, or Dan Wile\u2019s Collaborative Couples Therapy<\/a>.\u00a0 I prefer Johnson\u2019s work, spiced by the work of these other exceptional and gifted people.\u00a0 There are certainly more kinds of couples therapy <\/em>out there.\u00a0 My suggestion is that whoever you work with, make sure they have specific training and focus in an approach to couples therapy.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

John Gottman has observed that, on average, couples come in for counseling after they have been experiencing serious problems in their relationship for 6 years.\u00a0 That means that when you sit in that client\u2019s chair for the first time, you probably will be feeling angry, hurt and hopeless.\u00a0 You will probably feel blamed by your Continue reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6,5,1],"tags":[25,41,8],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/362"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=362"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/362\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":363,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/362\/revisions\/363"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=362"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=362"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=362"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}