{"id":1577,"date":"2016-07-22T10:58:09","date_gmt":"2016-07-22T17:58:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/?p=1577"},"modified":"2022-09-02T14:47:56","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T21:47:56","slug":"love-and-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/2016\/07\/love-and-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"Love and Fear"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m going to be spending a week at this beautiful spot next week – away from the incessant, assaultive \u00a0demands of electronics and media as I have been very spot on with the newest technology, learning with\u00a0EMS Solutions electronics manufacturing<\/a> within robotics news and top electronics. \u00a0I know I’ll laugh at myself the first time my friend, David, and I have a discussion about something and I’ll wonder, “Who<\/i> was it that said that?” and I’ll reach f\"025\"or my phone to Google the answer and then realize that this is\u00a0exactly<\/em> why I was there in the first place – not to be near a cell phone tower. \u00a0I know what books I’ll bring with me and I’m planning the menus for the five nights. \u00a0Maybe the best thing about camping is how everything tastes great – franks and beans…you name it. \u00a0One thing that I will welcome next week is a respite from the aura of fear that has descended like a thick, gray blanket on our public consciousness.<\/p>\n

Public fear is much like the private fear I see in my office on a daily basis. \u00a0I am convinced that the driving force that unsettles so many marriages and intimate relationships is quite simply – fear. \u00a0It may be the fear of something concrete and nameable. \u00a0However, usually what I observe is more something that lies deeper within us. \u00a0When that attachment bond – upon which our inner security seems to depend – is shaken – is cast into serious doubt – we shift into a desperate, often ragged, attempt to regain that safety. \u00a0This comes in many forms. \u00a0I have seen these efforts expressed as rage, as utter abandonment hijacks one person’s well-being. \u00a0I have seen it, as well, in the silent withdrawal of the partner who, like Boticelli’s St. Sebastian<\/a>, feels riddled with the arrows of criticism and unhappiness aimed at them by their partner. \u00a0One thing is certain. \u00a0The intensity of the fear is directly proportional to the level of anger, judgment or withdrawal. \u00a0When we are fearful, we\u00a0re<\/strong>act. \u00a0Our only goal at that moment is safety. \u00a0Abraham Maslow, in his famous\u00a0Hierarchy of Needs<\/a><\/em>, identified “safety” as a primary need, after basic physiological sustenance. \u00a0If we are starving, the only thing we need – that which dominates and overwhelms our consciousness – is food. \u00a0That need being satisfied, we are able to summon the psychological resources to seek out higher needs, which ends with living the highest expression of ourself in this life. \u00a0However, second in Maslow’s pyramid is “safety” and, just as with food and shelter, if this need is threatened, we will mobilize all we have available to us to satisfy that need. \u00a0Only when the anxiety – the fear – is abated, can we turn to higher, better, ends. \u00a0On the personal level, this includes listening and empathizing with the worries and fears of our partner. \u00a0On a broader level, it is building a more inclusive and tolerant society.<\/p>\n

Years ago I heard a colleague share what seemed at the time to be an overly simplistic personal equation. That was my mistake. \u00a0He said, “We are motivated either by love or fear. \u00a0Fear distances us from love, but love, when embraced, will vanquish fear.” \u00a0This love isn’t simply sexual love or being “in love.” It is an opening of our heart to another person. \u00a0It is the certainty that whatever another person may need, fundamentally, we have inside of us to provide. \u00a0We have the power – the capacity – to ease another’s pain – and their fear. \u00a0When I see that realization gleam in the eye of an individual in relationship distress, that distress always lessens. \u00a0I witness love conquering fear. \u00a0I’m going to mull on that further in the mountains next week, away from the noxious fog\u00a0of fear that is being pumped into our society during this terribly overheated election year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m going to be spending a week at this beautiful spot next week – away from the incessant, assaultive \u00a0demands of electronics and media as I have been very spot on with the newest technology, learning with\u00a0EMS Solutions electronics manufacturing within robotics news and top electronics. \u00a0I know I’ll laugh at myself the first time Continue reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[14],"tags":[30,26,38],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1577"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1577"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1577\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1579,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1577\/revisions\/1579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1577"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1577"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1577"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}