{"id":1545,"date":"2019-03-22T11:31:48","date_gmt":"2019-03-22T18:31:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/?p=1545"},"modified":"2019-03-22T11:31:48","modified_gmt":"2019-03-22T18:31:48","slug":"struggling-with-emotion-in-emotionally-focused-therapy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/2019\/03\/struggling-with-emotion-in-emotionally-focused-therapy\/","title":{"rendered":"Struggling with Emotion in Emotionally Focused Therapy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Intimate bonds may be about many different things – shared goals and interests, a “contract” is honored by both partners, “fair fighting” rules and many other elements discussed over the years by a wide array of experts and observers. \u00a0However, one thing that sets a committed intimate relationship apart from almost every other relationship is its ability to touch our deepest emotions. \u00a0Many is the time I have heard a partner in the depth of distress\"brake\" –\u00a0experiencing\u00a0fear, anger or shattering confusion – say to their partner, “I don’t get this way with anyone else!” \u00a0That is no doubt true.\u00a0 Yet, the statement is not so much a reflection of what is\u00a0wrong<\/em> with the relationship as it is of what is\u00a0important<\/em> about the relationship. \u00a0To be human is to be vulnerable. \u00a0No mammal is vulnerable as an infant for a longer time than humans beings. \u00a0Also, because of our unique and massive brains – particularly the prefrontal cortex (right behind our forehead), we have a fundamental need for emotional attunement from our primary caregivers. \u00a0Just look at this video about the “Still Face Experiment<\/a>” to get an idea of the power of this need. \u00a0We can amass all of the money and power available, and maybe by doing this, we never have to acknowledge and visit this vulnerable space inside of us – a vulnerability that comes with our humanity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Intimate bonds may be about many different things – shared goals and interests, a “contract” is honored by both partners, “fair fighting” rules and many other elements discussed over the years by a wide array of experts and observers. \u00a0However, one thing that sets a committed intimate relationship apart from almost every other relationship is Continue reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1545"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1545"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1545\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1547,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1545\/revisions\/1547"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1545"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1545"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1545"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}