{"id":1324,"date":"2015-01-17T12:09:42","date_gmt":"2015-01-17T19:09:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/?p=1324"},"modified":"2015-01-17T12:11:19","modified_gmt":"2015-01-17T19:11:19","slug":"therapy-thoughts-ending-sessions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/2015\/01\/therapy-thoughts-ending-sessions\/","title":{"rendered":"Therapy Thoughts – Ending Sessions"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"door.close\"<\/a>Couples therapy sessions last anywhere from one hour to 90 minutes. \u00a0Any less than an hour isn’t enough time for themes to develop in the room and people given enough space to explore them together to a satisfying resolution.\u00a0\u00a0 Plenty of times, an important subject isn’t raised, or sensitive button pushed, until midway through a meeting and ending on the 50 minute or hour mark feels like an abrupt and unsettling\u00a0“hard stop.” \u00a0More frequently than I, or other couples therapists, would like to admit or experience, even the 90 minute duration won’t end in a nice feeling of something valuable having been tied up, with the clients released back into their world carrying\u00a0a helpful insight into each other or with a meaningful connection made. \u00a0I think one difference between an experienced couples therapist and a newer professional is the ability to manage our\u00a0own<\/em> anxiety when a session ends with that unsettling static still in the air. \u00a0One person may be holding back (more) tears. \u00a0The other may be get up from their seat and hand you their payment in stony silence. \u00a0A worry passes through the therapist’s mind, “Will they come back? \u00a0Did I blow it somehow?” \u00a0Well, welcome to the world of the therapist as a living, breathing person. \u00a0We want to help – that’s why we’re in this business. \u00a0So, you can imagine the uneasiness when a couples session ends with simmering anger and complicated feelings still spinning within and between the partners. \u00a0It’s important for everyone to take a deep breath and realize that these harsh-feeling endings are not a disaster for clients or the work you are doing. \u00a0Almost never will a couple feel so distressed after a session that they will decide to abandon the couples therapy altogether. \u00a0In fact, oftentimes, couples return the next week and report that they found a way to work through that difficult patch and, while the therapist is all ready to continue with the theme that ended the last session, the people have come in with something entirely different to talk about. \u00a0While it is important for therapists not to become anxious about unfinished endings, it is equally important for couples who emerge from such sessions to understand that it’s okay and normal in the world of couples work to periodically end on an off-note. \u00a0It happens. \u00a0It will be okay.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Couples therapy sessions last anywhere from one hour to 90 minutes. \u00a0Any less than an hour isn’t enough time for themes to develop in the room and people given enough space to explore them together to a satisfying resolution.\u00a0\u00a0 Plenty of times, an important subject isn’t raised, or sensitive button pushed, until midway through a Continue reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6,5],"tags":[25,41],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1324"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1324"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1325,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1324\/revisions\/1325"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}