{"id":1311,"date":"2014-12-09T14:45:51","date_gmt":"2014-12-09T21:45:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/?p=1311"},"modified":"2014-12-09T14:45:51","modified_gmt":"2014-12-09T21:45:51","slug":"divorce-and-the-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/2014\/12\/divorce-and-the-holidays\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce and the Holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"

What a rough time for so many of us! \u00a0This particularly true if we are newly separated. \u00a0A wonderful colleague, Karen Bonnell, was recently on a local television show<\/a>\u00a0discussing the challenges parents face during this time. \u00a0It is well worth watching, as Karen gives us, in five minutes, a set of very helpful suggestions. \u00a0I’d like to highlight a couple of them and add a few thoughts of my own. \u00a0\"HOlidays.2\"<\/p>\n

Probably the most important bit of advice is\u00a0take care of yourself. \u00a0<\/em>The holidays are such a sad and challenging time for the newly separated. \u00a0Even if this is the 2nd, 3rd or even 5th holiday after your transition out of the family you once had, you may find yourself dipping into (in Karen’s words) a “River of Grief.” \u00a0Of course, this is especially true if you are not spending time with your little ones. \u00a0It is a particularly important time not to be alone. \u00a0Let your friends take care of you. \u00a0Find your family in those who love you – even if you aren’t feeling so lovable right about now. \u00a0 Even if you aren’t going to be with your children on Christmas, know that they are going to be\"Holidays.1\" excited to have their own Christmas with you, some time after December 25th and the best thing for a kid other than having Christmas, is having\u00a0two\u00a0<\/span> Christmases. \u00a0Hannukah, of course, gives you the chance to spend a few of the 8 nights with them. \u00a0While it is often too easy during this time to ruminate on the losses and sadness, it will serve you\u00a0and<\/em> your kids to be able to find the warmth, \u00a0friendship and loving-kindness around you. \u00a0If your children know that you are okay, it will free them to enjoy their holiday \u00a0season. \u00a0Your kids will worry \u00a0about you if you aren’t happy. \u00a0For sure, they’ll know it. \u00a0Children have incredibly acute antennae \u00a0trained on \u00a0their parents’ sense of their own well-being. \u00a0If mom or dad aren’t happy, children will invest plenty of energy trying to \u00a0take care of \u00a0you. \u00a0Another interesting suggestion Karen made was that, if you are newly separated, it would be good for children if \u00a0you planned \u00a0to take a brief, clearly defined, period to celebrate the holiday together with your separated partner and them. \u00a0While, \u00a0over time, this \u00a0will not be something they will need (and you most likely will not want to subject yourself to the intensely mixed \u00a0feelings this will \u00a0engender), for the first time after separation, it may provide them with a sense of stability that will calm them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What a rough time for so many of us! \u00a0This particularly true if we are newly separated. \u00a0A wonderful colleague, Karen Bonnell, was recently on a local television show\u00a0discussing the challenges parents face during this time. \u00a0It is well worth watching, as Karen gives us, in five minutes, a set of very helpful suggestions. \u00a0I’d Continue reading →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[42],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1311"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1311"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1311\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1314,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1311\/revisions\/1314"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/josephshaub.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}